How to Maintain a Long-distance Relationship with Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend

How to Maintain a Long-distance Relationship with Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend


1. See it as an opportunity

Instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, both of you should believe that through this experience, both of you will be bound together even stronger. See it as a test of your love for each other. As the Chinese saying goes, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” In fact, some distance can help you realize how much you love your partner and how you feel about him/her.


2. Understand your partner's activities, and communicate naturally, even if only for 5 minutes

Communication should happen naturally because you long for him/her, not because you have to. It's okay if you don't communicate for 1-2 days because people can get busy after all. Don't wait until the end of the day to call, especially when you're tired. You can have a short call during the day to just simply say I miss you or share what's in your mind. Remember: it's not about how often you communicate, but about continually getting connected at the right moments. To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips or short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.


3. Keep your partner updated

It's important to keep your partner updated about your life. It doesn't have to be a major thing, it can also be a very mundane thing such as what you eat or how is your sleep. In the same way, encourage your partner to do the same thing and listen to whatever he/she said about their life. If you and your partner are way too busy, be cool about stalking each other to show that you care.


4. Manage your expectations and set some ground rules to be committed

Since your long distance relationship would have some changes of situation, both of you must make a clear expectation and commitment to each other. For instance, if both of you are separated by 6-hours timezone, it would be alright to expect that he/she wouldn't be able to reply your messages fast. 
Discuss how you both approach a conflict. Conflict is inevitable, but in a long distance relationship, it will get even more difficult. Make a ground rule to never stonewall each other. Stonewall is refusing to engage with your partner, and distance will make it much easier to do that, but it can drive your partner crazy with frustration, second-guessing, self-doubt, and feeling powerless.
After you set the ground rules, forget about scoring. Don't count who has followed the rules more and who did less. Just focus doing what's right to make your relationship works.


5. Trust each other and be slow to judge

You need to seriously trust your partner: Scrutinizing everything and constantly questioning them only makes things worse. A funny thing about humans psychologically is when we’re separated from one another, we start to make all sorts of assumptions or judgments that are usually exaggerated or untrue. Remind yourself that you really don’t know what’s going on and the best thing you can do at any moment is simply talking to your partner about what they’re feeling and about what you’re feeling.

6. Avoid dangerous situation

If you already know that going drinking with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you should either not doing it or tell your partner beforehand to ask if he/she is alright with you going and respect their answer. Don't take this matter lightly, once your partner found out you're hiding things from him/her, that's the beginning of the disaster. Both of you would constantly struggle with the trust issue. Learn to recognize the dangers before entering the situation. Don’t just listen to your heart. Listen to your mind too.

7. Stay honest with each other

Be open and honest with each other. When you miss him/her, just said so and have a video call. Because looking into each other’s eyes and hearing each other’s voices can make everything feel alright again. Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. If you try to hide anything from your partner, it can build up a sense of insecurity for your partner. Moreover, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from inside out and will get worse by time. It’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.


8. Do things together

Both of you always need something to look forward to together. It’s necessary to always have some dates that you are both waiting for. It can be a very simple thing such as playing an online game together, stream a movie at the same time, a date night, or take a walk together while calling each other. Or it can also be a major event to such as a vacation together. 
Recommend books, TV shows, movies, music to each other. When you read, watch and listen to the same things, you get to have more topics in common to talk about. This is good to create some shared experiences even though you are living apart. Feel free to be creative and spontaneous about it.

9. Make visits to each other

Visits are the highlight of every long-distance relationship. After all the waiting and yearning, you finally get to meet each other and all the little things like kissing, hugging, holding hands will be very special and extra intimate for people in long-distance relationships. Make visits as a priority for both of you, for instance never go more than 2 months without seeing each other in person. Don't expect the visits will all be wine and roses, some trips may be full of great moments together, some others may be filled with fighting, but that's a very normal thing for couples. Also, get a credit card that earns airline miles to help you save money on your future visits.


10. Enjoy your life

You are alone but you are not lonely unless you choose to feel like it. You don’t have to let your world revolve around your partner — you still have you, your friends and your family. Take this time apart to do more with your friends and family. Go to the gym more often. Get a new hobby. Binge-watch shows. There are plenty of things for you to do that doesn’t involve your partner.

11. Give a personal item for your partner to hold onto it

We often attach meanings to the little things and items found in our everyday life, whether knowingly or not. This is what we all do — we try to store memories in physical things, in the hope that when our mind fails us, we can look or hold on to something that will help us remember. This is the power in a memento. It can be a ring, a keychain, a collection of songs and videos, a bottle of fragrance, or a t-shirt that smells like him.

12. Send physical items to each other

Send each other gifts across the globe from time to time. Flower deliveries on birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine’s Day. Shop online and surprise each other with cool T-shirts, sexy underwear, and such. Mail each other postcards and hand-written love letters. With Memobird Wi-Fi printer & messenger you can send actual love notes with your handwriting to your partner in seconds.


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